March 23, 2018

Self-Inflicted Growth. Noted.

Recently I was faced with a less than comfortable situation.

But before that an amazing opportunity was thrown my way. It was an opportunity to get uncomfortable in a growing pains sort of way. Suuuuper uneasy and twitchy, but necessary to eventually turn awkward teenager you into the beauty that is currently you. It was going to challenge me to think creatively and tap into a side of my brain I have resisted for many previous years.

Color me excited.

When something, anything gets brought up as just a passing thought, I grab it before it has the chance to grow through its nerdy years into maturity, and I run as fast as I can. Poor Michael. I mention moving out of state once and he says, “Ya, the houses you are looking at online at this very moment in Washington are nice.” Green lights are a go. Should I start packing? I went from not wanting kids one week to asking him what our plans are with our current lease and how we need to factor kids into our next move. “Okay, let’s plan on around (not any time soon).” So naturally I created a Pinterest Board and a Baby Registry.

Adorable pregnancy announcement! #announcements #bigbrother #love

(freaked Michael out with this one)

What??

Remember, I am the color ‘excited’. Also maybe just a shade of ‘overzealous’.

So when this new project was offered to me, like anything else, I ran with it. I let myself get so enveloped in it and put time and energy into it immediately. All these new original and imaginative ideas came to mind; I moved into action and created some great content.

Unfortunately just as soon as this was given to me, it was taken away. Things were going great; I was hitting personal goals left and right and then friend-of-no-one, Disappointment, stopped by for a visit. It felt as though ‘he’ had dug a ditch in the very path that my ball of momentum was headed.

I was pretty upset and needed a way to get out of this ditchy mood. Instead of resenting ‘his’ visit, I sat ‘him’ down and asked what Disappointment was doing here. What good could this uninvited guest offer?

Awhile ago I had gone through one of the most challenging times of my life and I let everyone know it. A friend said to me, “Kayli, I understand this sucks, but you can’t poison the well.” I will never forget those words. The very source that was ‘feeding’ a lot of these people was getting affected because I had a bad taste in my mouth. I hadn’t been able to put that into practice again until this situation. I could have stomped my feet loud enough for everyone to hear, but I remembered those words and talked through it with only Michael and moved on.

Okay Disappointment, I’m listening.

The ditch wasn’t intended to stop me, but only to slow me down. For now. Truth is, even I wasn’t ready to take on another task. I knew it, but I didn’t actually vocalize it.

What else ya got, Disappointment?

While waiting, I have all this time to get the creative thoughts flowing; I can write this stuff down and put it into practice before another opportunity comes my way. Disappointment is actually helping me get proactive for whatever comes next!

Holy crap, THANKS DISAPPOINTMENT!

 

Anything can teach you something, even Disappointment.

Noted.

 

 

I feel like by creating this Noted idea, I am basically asking for lessons to be learned which means challenges to be faced.

Self-Inflicted growth I suppose. 

 

 

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